


With Your Heart

by suika (amater_asu)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Disabled Character, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23911477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amater_asu/pseuds/suika
Summary: He heard Kyungsoo sighed as he continued tracing his wishes against his skin. Jongin had grown to love the feeling of words against his skin, every trail of Kyungsoo’s unspoken words mean a lot to him.I want to tell you everything. That everything includes ‘I love you’.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	With Your Heart

Kyungsoo’s gaze fell upon a glass of cappuccino. The cup was half empty. He trailed the brown liquid spilling out with his naturally wide eyes, down to the table to make a tiny poodle. The occupant of the empty chair across from him had left, stumbling upon another table in the building, had tried so hard to crawl towards the exit and had finally managed to disappear into the busy street of Seoul.

The cup of cappuccino in front of him _was_ his. It didn’t take a genius to tell that he was a messy drinker and probably a walking ball of mess too. Kyungsoo didn’t get to ask his name when he suddenly sat on the chair across from him, desperately trying to clutch the handle of the cup and lifted it up to take a sip of the warm coffee in the crisp morning air. He enjoyed his presence though the silence was louder than the soft murmur the boy had made most of the time. It was not the heavy, uncomfortable one. It was the one that made him feel relaxed.

The corners of Kyungsoo’s mouth quirked up into a small heart-shaped smile when he remembered the boy looked up and stared right into his soul. That gaze could fill his empty heart, Kyungsoo thought. But the stare was _blank_. He had decided that the boy was good looking, handsome even. Stern but warm eyes, thick lips and slightly darker skin. His hair was grey—almost white and styled up perfectly. Kyungsoo honestly had never seen someone so beautiful before.

Kyungsoo felt like something had knocked the wind out of him. He looked around and found the café was nearly empty. He blinked rapidly and sighed. How long had he been spacing out?

Kyungsoo took a glance at the cup one last time before he stood up and dashed out of the café.

He hoped he could meet him once again, just to know his name—or maybe get to know more about him.

***

‘Kyungsoo, please pass me the pen from Jongdae,’

It was ten in the morning and Kyungsoo was trying to read his economics book. The professor just exited the class to get several new markers from the staffroom and the students released their breaths in unison, wriggling out of the tenseness.

Kyungsoo looked up and saw Jongdae holding out a blue inked pen. He reached out to grab the pen then handed it to Chanyeol who was sitting behind him. ‘Thanks.’ Chanyeol said with a grin and started writing his essays. After a few minutes, he stopped writing and looked up. ‘Aren’t you going to write your essays?’

That startled Kyungsoo. He almost jumped out of his seat if it was not for Baekhyun who quickly grabbed the boy’s hands. Kyungsoo advert his gaze to Baekhyun as if saying thank you and Baekhyun nodded. ‘Is there something bothering you, Kyungsoo?’

Chanyeol frowned when Kyungsoo kept looking past him. ‘What are you looking for?’ He asked and turned around. At the same time, the professor entered the class and cleared his throat, making all students went back to focus on his lecture. Chanyeol frantically turned back around to face the whiteboard and rubbed the back of his neck when he found the professor glaring at him.

He looked down at his books. He was still a bit curious about the person Kyungsoo was looking for a while ago. So, he took out a piece of paper from his notebook and scribbled down a letter. He crumpled the paper and threw it in Kyungsoo’s direction. It hit his back and fell to his chair but Kyungsoo didn’t move an inch.

‘Kyungsoo!’ He whisper-screamed while poking his best friend’s back.

He saw Kyungsoo turned his head and stared at him with wide eyes. He sighed in relief and smiled. ‘Look down to your seat. Read it!’

Chanyeol leaned back on his seat when Kyungsoo nodded and took the paper.

Kyungsoo opened the crumpled paper and noticed Chanyeol’s messy handwriting.

_Curiiiiiooous!_

_You should tell me about him at lunch later!_

He shook his head and chuckled. Chanyeol had always been the curious one and it sometimes bothered Baekhyun, his boyfriend, a lot. He raised his hand to make an ‘ok’ sign without turning his head and he heard Baekhyun mumbled something about lunch break and unfair got into one sentence.

He was probably needed to explain lots of things to the lovey-dovey couple.

***

_I think I like him_

‘What?’

Chanyeol gasped and put down a carton of milk he was drinking. Baekhyun was getting curious of what the two were talking about. He collected the papers scattered on the table and read them one by one patiently.

_He sat down on the seat across from mine._

_He was the boy I met at the café two days ago._

_I think I like him_

‘What?!’

Baekhyun looked up only to meet a pair of frustrated eyes. He sighed and gave the papers back to Kyungsoo. ‘It’s the first time I’ve ever heard of your liking to someone,’

Chanyeol nodded in agreement.

Kyungsoo shrugged and took a sip from his mineral water bottle. He choked when he saw who just entered the cafeteria. It was him. It was the boy he met at the café. His heart leaped when he saw he was not alone. To his dismay, he walked in with a pretty girl hooking their arms together.

They walked in slowly as Kyungsoo kept on coughing his guts out. The water started to drip out of his nose and it was really painful. He felt like there were needles stabbing his insides. Baekhyun jumped out of his seat and walked over to pat his back. ‘Kyungsoo, are you okay?’ _Pat pat pat._

Chanyeol turned his head towards the entrance and his eyes widened. ‘Kyungsoo…’

He turned back and saw his boyfriend was scrutinizing the boy with grey hair and the long-haired girl beside him. ‘…is he the one?’ Chanyeol whispered. Kyungsoo nodded as he kept patting his chest.

‘I think I know him,’ Baekhyun said, squinting a bit to see the boy’s face clearly.

‘Oh! I know him!’

Kyungsoo opened his mouth and made noises. Chanyeol hurriedly pushed a piece of paper towards his direction. He waited as Kyungsoo scribbled down something on the paper. As soon as he finished, Chanyeol snatched it then scanned the paper.

‘You saw him in our economics class this morning?’

Kyungsoo nodded frenetically.

‘You don’t know him? He’s been in the same faculty as us this whole time,’ Baekhyun spoke and went back to sit beside Chanyeol. He calmly sipped his hot cocoa. ‘His name is Kim Jongin,’

The whole world seemed to stop as soon as Kyungsoo heard the name. His eyes widened when he noticed they stopped exactly next to their table. The girl said something to him and pushed him gently down to sit. Then, she ran to order their meals.

‘I wonder if they’re in a relationship,’ Chanyeol murmured.

Baekhyun whacked the back of his head. ‘Don’t tell me you don’t notice Jongin too,’

Chanyeol winced. ‘You know I don’t socialize well,’ he shrugged.

‘Whatever.’ Baekhyun mumbled and he turned to Kyungsoo who hung his head low.

‘Hey,’ he softly called. ‘Don’t worry, bud. They’re not in a relationship,’

Kyungsoo looked up and stared at Baekhyun with hopeful eyes.

‘You go for him, bro,’ Chanyeol patted his shoulder, encouraging him.

When he looked at the couple in front of him, nodding and cheering him up, he felt his life had never been this blessed. He was eternally grateful to have a best friend like Chanyeol and his supportive boyfriend. He smiled and scribbled something down. Then, he held it out for them to read.

_So, I’d better go get him, huh?_

***

_Excuse me, you’re standing in front of my locker._

Instead of slipping out of his mouth, the words were kept inside his head. He eyed the boy’s back. He was wearing a blue button-up shirt, a pair of blue jeans and a cardigan draped over his shoulders. When he looked up to see the hair, Kyungsoo gasped and his eyes widened.

It was Jongin.

But what was he doing here?

He was thinking of the way how to tell Jongin that he was blocking his way to his locker. He contemplated on telling Jongin or just going back and get his books later. But before he could make a decision, he heard Jongin mumbled.

‘Did I punch in the wrong key?’ the taller boy scratched his head. ‘I should’ve asked Minah to come with me.’

When Jongin turned around, he stepped on Kyungsoo’s shoes.

‘I’m sorry. Who’s there?’ Jongin yelped and looked around. It made Kyungsoo wonder. Did he not see him? He was right in front of him. Why was he looking around?

Kyungsoo got frustrated. He wanted Jongin to know that he was there but he didn’t know any other way but to poke the taller boy’s shoulder. He saw Jongin’s face tensed up. Then, he slowly walked backwards until his back collided with the locker. He lost his balance and started to sway. Fortunately, Kyungsoo got his forearm and steadied him back.

‘Thanks….uhh…’

_Kyungsoo, my name is Kyungsoo!_

Taking a deep breath, Kyungsoo closed his eyes before opening them again and started to trace letters on Jongin’s forearm with his index finger.

‘…Kyungsoo?’

Kyungsoo smiled and nodded. _Finally._

‘Thank you, Kyungsoo. My name is Jongin.’ Jongin said carefully, frowning.

It made Kyungsoo frown too because Jongin was not looking at him. He was looking past him. Maybe there was someone standing behind him? When he turned around, he didn’t find anyone. They were the only ones standing in front of the lockers. The corridor was slightly deserted.

He sighed and started to trace words on Jongin’s forearm.

_I’m here in front of you. I may be short but hey, I’m not that short._

He chuckled when Jongin’s eyes widened. The taller boy then shifted his gaze and they met eyes. It was still the same _blank_ stare. Jongin reached out to touch his face but his fingers met fluffy mop of hair instead of a strong nose bridge. Kyungsoo’s heart started to beat fast, _faster._

_You are standing in front of my locker._

It was amusing to see Jongin’s facial expression changed. He tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. ‘How long have you been here? I’m sorry I didn’t know,’

_Fifteen minutes. It’s alright. You should know your own locker._

Kyungsoo was unsure but he saw a glint of sadness in Jongin’s eyes as he sighed.

‘I can’t…’ Jongin murmured.

_Why?_

There was a silence surrounded them. Jongin closed his eyes and Kyungsoo took that as a sign that it was personal. Maybe Jongin couldn’t tell him. Maybe it was something important. Who was he kidding? Who was he to him? They were just strangers.

_It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me_.

Just when Kyungsoo was about to release his grip on Jongin’s arm, a hand stopped him.

It was Jongin’s.

‘Because…I can’t see…’

A lump formed inside Kyungsoo’s closing throat. It was getting harder for him to breathe. The words stuck inside his head. He felt nausea all of the sudden. His knees were shaking and they couldn’t seem to stand the weight of his body anymore. He should’ve known. That blank stare. That fucking blank stare.

_Jongin-ssi, I’m sorry. I need to go._

***

‘Hey, let’s go grab a bite at the café,’ Chanyeol threw the controller to the side and groaned. He was at Kyungsoo’s flat. It had been a boring weekend so he decided to play online games while Baekhyun read one of Kyungsoo’s books.

Kyungsoo paused the game and rolled his eyes. He pressed Alt+F4 on his keyboards and ran Microsoft Word. He started to type away furiously.

_You just ate my fruit loops. I wonder where they went if they didn’t go straight to your tummy, Chanyeol. Do you even have a tummy?_

Chanyeol rolled his eyes and went to jump on Kyungsoo’s bed. He almost fell on top of his boyfriend if it was not for Baekhyun who shifted quickly to the unoccupied side of the bed. ‘Park Chanyeol!’ He shrieked so loud and hurled the book towards his boyfriend.

The book went flying across the room because Chanyeol had ducked in before it hit his head. He snickered as he pulled Baekhyun’s arms and the shorter boy fell on top of him. ‘Stop being so temperamental,’ Chanyeol whispered to his ear. It sent shivers down Baekhyun’s spine. ‘You wish,’ Baekhyun hissed.

Chanyeol was about to lift his head to kiss Baekhyun but he was interrupted by a knocking of fingers against the wooden table. They turned their heads towards Kyungsoo who was giving them a look. As if saying ‘Not here, guys. Not here, please.’

Being an understanding friend, Baekhyun got off of Chanyeol.

‘You can kill him for trying to make out with me in _your_ bed, Kyungsoo,’

Chanyeol glared and sat up. He stood up and started to run towards Baekhyun. ‘Sometimes I need to remind myself how blunt you are,’ he said weakly and turned towards the door. ‘I’m going to the café. I don’t mind going _alone_ since none of you wants to go.’ he emphasized the word ‘alone’ and Baekhyun had to roll his eyes at his boyfriend’s guilty trip.

Chanyeol disappeared behind the door without a word.

‘Come on, Kyungsoo,’

Baekhyun and Chanyeol kept bickering along the way to the café. Sometimes, Kyungsoo got jealous and happy for them at the same time. Jealous for no particular reason. He wondered if there was someone who willingly wanted to be his boyfriend. He would feel like he was the luckiest person alive.

He didn’t realize he was spacing out until he heard the bell hung above the door tinkled. He looked up and found that Baekhyun was holding the door open, waiting for him to come in. ‘Come on in, Princess,’ he chuckled. They went in together and looked around for Chanyeol. The taller boy had taken a seat at the very corner of the café. He waved his hands frantically for them to notice.

‘Tsk. I hate the seat near the window.’ Baekhyun groaned but he pulled Kyungsoo towards the seat anyways.

It was the café where Kyungsoo saw Jongin. When he looked around and spotted his usual seat, near the countercheck, his mind reeled back to the incident two weeks ago. It had been three days since the last time they talked. He didn’t know why he ran away. He couldn’t help but be afraid. Afraid of something he didn’t even know.

Baekhyun felt Kyungsoo tensed up beside him. He stopped walking and decided to see what was bothering his friend. ‘Kyungsoo what—oh,’

Stood behind the glass doors was Jongin. He was with that girl again—Minah.

When she pushed the glass door open, Kyungsoo whipped his head around and paced towards Chanyeol. He didn’t want Minah to notice them but it was too late because she noticed Baekhyun. _Crap._

‘Going out for coffee, Baekhyun-ssi?’ she said softly and showed him a timid smile.

Baekhyun bowed his head slightly and smiled back. ‘Fancy seeing you here, Minah-ssi, Jongin-ssi,’

Upon hearing his name being called, Jongin looked around and bowed his head blindly. ‘Minah, who’s with us?’ he whispered. ‘It’s Baekhyun and his friends,’ he nodded and he heard Minah bidding goodbye to Baekhyun. Then, he felt himself being pulled and pushed down to sit on a chair. ‘I’m going to order. As usual, right?’

She smiled and went to order after she saw Jongin nodded.

Chanyeol pried Kyungsoo’s hand away when Baekhyun came and took his seat in one of the chair there. Kyungsoo had been twirling the hem of Chanyeol’s shirt due to the anxiety washed over him. It just annoyed the hell out of Chanyeol by watching how the shorter boy shifted in his seat. ‘What’s wrong with you?’

‘Jongin is here.’ Baekhyun answered for him.

‘What?!’ Chanyeol gasped. ‘Oh my god, no wonder you act like something has just gotten into your pants,’

Chanyeol patted Kyungsoo’s back. ‘Relax, dude,’ he pointed towards Jongin’s direction. ‘He’s not even looking at you. He’s…wait, why does he keep staring into the air?’

Baekhyun had to be fast to whack Chanyeol’s head to shut him up. Kyungsoo sighed when Chanyeol looked at the two of them interchangeably, visibly confused. Then, he grabbed Chanyeol’s arm to answer Chanyeol’s question.

_He’s blind, Chanyeol. He cannot see._

‘I’m sorry, Kyungsoo. I didn’t know.’

***

It was 06.00 PM in the evening. Kyungsoo got a text message from Baekhyun telling they would come over so he needed to make extra dinner for the forever hungry beast. Yes, it was Chanyeol and his hunger.

That explained why Kyungsoo was stumbling down the street to the supermarket downtown while trying to wear his jacket properly because he couldn’t really stand the cold air. He shivered as he felt cold breeze blew, caressing his red cheeks.

He inwardly groaned when he felt his phone vibrated. He stopped walking to check who was calling. But when he managed to fish his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, someone bumped into him and made his phone fell out of his grip. It crashed with the solid pavement. Kyungsoo’s eyes twitched slightly as he stared at his phone on the ground.

‘I’m sorry. Did you break something? I’ll pay for it. I’m sorry,’

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. _That voice._

Seeing Jongin was the last thing he expected to happen. Before letting Jongin know that it was him who he had just bumped into earlier, Kyungsoo crouched down to collect his phone and shoved it into his pocket. He would check the damage later.

He found Jongin still standing, unmoving. He was waiting for one of them to speak.

So, Kyungsoo snatched Jongin’s arm and traced letters on it.

_It’s me, Kyungsoo._

He could see the tense on Jongin’s face slowly loosened up. Strangely, he could feel himself loosen up a bit as well. ‘Are you going somewhere?’ Jongin finally asked and gave Kyungsoo a smile. A smile he had never seen before. To be honest, he rarely saw Jongin smiling so it made him feel joyful inside to see the smile on his face.

He couldn’t help but smile back.

_Yes._

‘Where are you going?’

_The supermarket._

‘Need a company?’

_Sure. But isn’t it the other way around?_

‘Yeah, it should be the other way around but who cares?’

_Okay._

Kyungsoo smiled although he knew that Jongin couldn’t see it. He took Jongin’s arms and turned him around. He could feel him clung into his touch as they walked along the pavement, with their old depleted coats and the cold night breeze slowly caressing their faces. It was the moment Kyungsoo knew he would cherish forever.

_Jongin, is there any particular dish you want to eat?_

Kyungsoo examined shelves of different black bean paste. He was contemplating on which brand he should put into the basket. He never really cared about brands but he wanted to buy best ingredients to make the best dish for Jongin.

He looked up and saw Jongin shook his head. ‘I’m okay with anything,’

_Okay._ Kyungsoo nodded thoughtfully. _Then I’m just going to make black bean noodles for dinner. I hope my friends are okay with it too._ He went to look down the lower shelf and took one from the group.

Jongin raised an eyebrow. “Your friends are coming over too?’

Kyungsoo hummed. He was about to put a jar of black bean paste when his phone started vibrating. _It’s still okay? I guess I don’t have to say anything about it to Jongin._

He quickly straightened up and put the jar into the basket. Jongin felt the weight he was carrying with his right arm grew so he thought maybe Kyungsoo had finally chose the right one. ‘Kyungsoo, are you done?’

Jongin felt uncomfortable when he didn’t get an answer. ‘Hey, Kyungsoo?’

_Yeah? Sorry, I was replying my friend’s text message._ He felt Kyungsoo traced those words on his skin after a while. ‘Oh,’ Jongin heaved a sigh of relief. ‘I thought you left,’

_No, silly. Do you think I will leave a handicap alone?_

Jongin nodded in understatement but he couldn’t help his chest feeling so tight at what Kyungsoo just said. So, he looked at him as a handicapped person? He thought that people are all the same. He wanted to be treated normally, like he can see.

‘It’s relieving to hear that,’ Jongin said with a small sad smile.

Kyungsoo noticed what he said then his hand flew up to cover his mouth—as if he said those words through his mouth. Then, he grabbed Jongin’s arm to trace something.

_I’m sorry. I will never leave you alone I promise, Jongin-ah._

He saw Jongin nodded but he was not smiling. He felt guilt washed over him so he stood up on his tippy toes and kissed Jongin’s cheek to make up for it. He was getting anxious of what Jongin’s response would be. But his shoulders slumped when Jongin still had this straight face on and he thought maybe Jongin wasn’t affected at all.

‘What was that?’ He heard Jongin asked instead. His head was tilted to the side.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and he felt like his heart had stopped beating.

_Shit. How should I say this?_

‘ _Uhh, I kissed you?’ Ahh, No! It would make everything turn awkward._

_Let’s just say…_

_Nothing._

_Oh, don’t forget to use ‘_ _ㅋㅋㅋ_ _’ to make it sound reassuring and playful._

_Nothing kekeke_

Jongin chuckled and shook his head. ‘Weird. I thought I felt something soft against my cheek and—’

_No, no, you were feeling things, Jongin-ah. Let’s go, we’re done._

Kyungsoo had to be quick to put his palm over Jongin’s mouth to prevent the chance of him getting caught and smoothly switched the topic _. Also, my friend said they’re craving for bulgogi. Is it okay for you?_

Jongin just realized that he never heard Kyungsoo speaking before and the curiosity had just gotten into him. He really wanted to ask but he was afraid that it was something offensive. Something that he shouldn’t ask.

‘I’m cool with bulgogi,’ Jongin nodded. ‘Erm…I really want to hear your voice, Kyungsoo,’

He could feel the tenseness in the air like his lungs had run out of oxygen and it suffocated him. He shouldn’t have said that. He mentally slapped himself for being so nosy. ‘…Kyungsoo?’ he started to panic because Kyungsoo loosened his grip on his arms.

_You want to hear my voice? Okay, I’ll sing for you later, Jongin-ah. I caught a cold so I’m not able to sing or speak at the moment. My throat really hurts every time I try to speak. So, don’t ask me to do those things for now. I’ll let you know when I have fully recovered!_

It made Kyungsoo sad to see the way they communicated. He just hoped that everything will eventually come in place.

***

‘Baekhyun, pass over the salt,’

‘The chili, please,’

‘Can you pass me a glass of—’

‘God damn it, Chanyeol, I’m not your maid!’

Chanyeol snickered as he let his boyfriend threw several napkins on him. But his eyes widened when he saw a metal spoon flying towards him. He quickly covered himself with his arms and successfully dodged it. He heard Baekhyun puffed and got up from his seat to look at what Kyungsoo had been doing in the kitchen.

‘So…uhm…Kyungsoo didn’t say anything about him being friends with you and Baekhyun Hyung,’ Jongin started, making Chanyeol look up and turn his head towards him who silently continued eating his portion of bulgogi.

Chanyeol frowned. ‘He didn’t?’

Jongin shook his head. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t always socialize with people,’ he said with a gentle laugh. ‘That’s why I’m genuinely surprised you guys don’t push me away or something because of my limitation of seeing,’

Chanyeol shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He never really got into a serious conversation with someone before so he didn’t know how to give the exact response. He decided to go with , ‘Why would we do that?’ Chanyeol coughed to cover the awkwardness in his voice.

‘Also,’ he continued. ‘It’s Kyungsoo Hyung,’

Jongin tilted his head. ‘Hyung?’

“Yes. He’s a year older than you by the way,’

“Ahhh,’ Jongin nodded. ‘So, it’s Kyungsoo Hyung. Okay,’

Chanyeol brought his fist up for Jongin to pump against. He smacked his forehead as soon as he remembered Jongin was sightless. ‘Fist pump ay buddy?’

He saw Jongin smiled widely and lifted his fist. Chanyeol cheerfully pumped his and grinned. ‘Make yourself comfortable around us, Jongin.’

‘Alright, Chanyeol,’

***

Jongin and Kyungsoo had been friends for a month and Jongin still wondered how Kyungsoo sounded like, looked like. Every time he asked Chanyeol or Baekhyun about how he sounded, they would always change the topic. Was there anything he missed?

Kyungsoo found out that Minah was Jongin’s cousin and she lived next to Jongin’s house. He had visited him a few times and met his mother. She thanked him personally for befriending his son. She told him that Jongin didn’t have a lot of friends. Even if he did, they never went to visit him like Kyungsoo did.

Kyungsoo felt blessed to hear that.

‘Hyung, would you like some lemonade?’

It was Saturday night and Kyungsoo was lying sprawled on Jongin’s bed, reading a novel written in Braille. He had come to know that Jongin liked to read novel, he could operate a pc too. He could do a lot of things despite his lacking of sight. It didn’t restrict him to do something he loved like dancing.

‘I just love dancing,’ he had said one night, when they went out to buy chinese takeouts.

Kyungsoo had smiled at him and said he wanted to see him dancing someday. Jongin had agreed and pulled the shorter boy into his embrace. ‘I want to hear you sing too.’ he had whispered against his hair.

‘…help me with this, Hyung? Oof—’

Kyungsoo was snapped out of his reverie when he heard Jongin’s painful cry. He was trying to bring a tray of lemonades in but he accidentally stepped on a rubic cube on the way. He reached out; trying to find something his palm could lean against. He felt relieved when Kyungsoo snatched the tray from his hands. _You could’ve called me for a help, Jongin-ah._

Jongin didn’t know why but he had the feeling that Kyungsoo was pouting as he said—wrote that. So, he chuckled and kicked the colored cube. He walked in and sat on his bed. ‘What were you doing?’ he asked.

Kyungsoo went to sit beside him on the bed. _I was reading your novel._

Jongin went silent.

The air got chillier and Kyungsoo noticed that the windows had been open. He went over to shut them off and drew the curtains. It made the room turn darker and Kyungsoo didn’t usually like darkness but they would freeze to death if he opened them back.

‘Why did you draw the curtains, Hyung?’ Jongin asked, turning around to face Kyungsoo. Well not really, he didn’t really look straight at his eyes.

Kyungsoo’s features softened upon seeing the boy in front of him. _It’s cold, Jongin-ah._

Jongin’s eyebrows met in the middle. ‘B-but you’re uncomfortable with the darkness…’ he muttered under his breath but it was loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear.

_No. I must not be selfish. It’s okay, maybe I will get used to the darkness._ Kyungsoo grinned, reaching out to put an arm around Jongin’s shoulders. _Like how you get used to the darkness._

***

‘Do you have wishes, Hyung?’

Jongin asked as he looked up, inhaling all the grass scent that filled up his nose. It was early in the beginning of spring and it had been raining a lot in Seoul. It was not a big deal. Jongin liked the rain—the smell of the damp earth and the sound of the heavy droplets hitting the roof, the chilly weather. He had always wanted to see the rain.

They had passed Christmas and New Year together. It surprised the both of them at how well they friendship went. Though Kyungsoo thought he’d like it be more than a friendship. But he reminded himself often he must not be selfish.

_Of course I do, Jongin-ah._

They were outside, lying on the wet grass in Jongin’s backyard. His mom liked to plant variety kind of flowers and she told him once her favorite was Tulips. Kyungsoo personally loved Cyclamens. It reminded him of his mother.

‘Tell me yours!’ Jongin said cheerfully.

Kyungsoo chuckled and nodded.

_I wish to see my mother once again, live a happy life with her and love her eternally. I want her to know that I miss her. It’s been three years—_

Jongin heard a soft sniffle and he immediately sat up. ‘Hyung, are you okay? I’ve told you that it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about your mother,’

_I’m not done yet, Jongin-ah!_

‘Okay, sorry for interrupting you. You may go on now,’ the taller boy said as he scooted closer to Kyungsoo and put an arm around the shorter boy’s shoulder. He slightly pulled him closer.

_I want a life like in those k-dramas. Don’t ask why, I just want it. I want my husband to cook for me because I’m always the one in charge of cooking. If I could, I would teleport back to when the dinosaurs still existed. I’ve always wanted to see dinosaurs._

Kyungsoo pressed his index finger into Jongin’s skin a little harder. That made the taller boy chuckle. ‘Interesting,’

_I know, right? Don’t you just want to see dinosaurs?_

Jongin nodded and smiled. ‘Of course,’

He heard Kyungsoo sighed as he continued tracing his wishes against his skin. Jongin had grown to love the feeling of words against his skin, every trail of Kyungsoo’s unspoken words mean a lot to him. The shorter boy trusted him with his life. He knew that since the first time he told his name.

_I want to tell you everything. That everything includes ‘I love you’._

Whoosh.

Jongin felt the world stopped. He barely registered what he had just heard—felt. He didn’t feel the wrong words, right? Was his skin getting insensitive? He wasn’t feeling things, was he? Was someone trying to joke around and give him a surprise? It wasn’t even his birthday!

‘W—what was that?’ he asked with a voice barely audible.

_Tell me your wishes, Jongin-ah._

Jongin found himself get disappointed. But he tried to ignore the heavy feelings tightening around his lungs, cutting his supply of oxygen. He nodded anyways and smiled a sad smile. ‘Okay,’

Jongin took a deep breath. ‘My wishes are mostly about seeing everything again. I want to see the world. I want to fly on an airplane and look at the world from up above the clouds. Oh, I want to see the clouds too and rainbows, storm, lightning, and all of natural disasters! I want to see the world when it’s raining, just like now. I miss it, Hyung.’

Kyungsoo looked up and felt the cool droplets against his face. _But it’s not raining, it’s drizzling._

Jongin laughed. ‘I still like the feeling of it…especially when I get to experience it with you sitting beside me,’ he turned his head to the left and smiled down at Kyungsoo. The shorter boy was blushing upon hearing it, he could feel his cheeks was burning despite the cool breeze constantly blew.

‘I want to see your face, Hyung. I wish we could’ve met before I went blind.’

They fell into a silence once again. Neither of them spoke until Kyungsoo broke it with a quiet cough and leaned his head on Jongin’s broad shoulder. _I want you to see me too, Jongin-ah._

It startled Jongin when he didn’t feel Kyungsoo’s head on his shoulder anymore. It startled him even more when he felt Kyungsoo grab his shoulders and turned him slightly around. He didn’t know what in the shorter boy’s mind but he didn’t have a choice, did he?

‘What are you doing, Hyung?’

Kyungsoo grabbed Jongin’s palms and put them over his jaw. He held them tighter and brought them up to his lips, nose, eyes, eyebrows, back to his lips and he stopped. He let Jongin run his thumb over his slightly chapped lips. He smiled widely.

‘You’re smiling, Hyung. I can feel your smile,’

He let go of Jongin’s hands to trace something on his right forearm. _Yes I am, Jongin-ah._

‘That means you’re happy?’ the younger boy asked, eyes shining brightly under the moonlight.

Kyungsoo nodded though Jongin couldn’t see it.

‘H-Hyung…Hyung?’ Jongin said with a shaky voice, sounded more like a whisper. His hands couldn’t stop shaking as they settled over Kyungsoo’s lips.

_Yes?_ Kyungsoo got a bit worried when he saw the troubled expression on Jongin’s face. The younger seemed to want to say something but he didn’t know how.

‘Hyung…’ Jongin called. ‘Can I kiss you?’

He could feel the shorter boy nodded. So, that was when he knew he loved the boy in front of him. He slowly leaned in and placed his lips over the right side of Kyungsoo’s mouth, not entirely. Kyungsoo’s lips tasted sweet like cherries and caramel and soft like muffins. He liked it. He liked the feeling of kissing Kyungsoo and the butterflies that came to live inside his tummy.

It was an innocent kiss at first. But as soon as Jongin pulled away, Kyungsoo reached out to pull him back down and kissed him entirely on mouth. The taller boy gasped into the kiss as he slowly sneaked an arm around the smaller boy’s slender waist. Everything. Everything he wanted, he wished, Kyungsoo had seemed to fulfill them all. He didn’t mind if he didn’t get to see Kyungsoo’s face.

They pulled apart for air but Jongin was afraid to continue even if he felt the pain of losing the feeling of the shorter boy’s lips against his. He might hurt him. He didn’t want to do anything to him before he properly confessed his feelings for his hyung.

Instead of kissing his lips, Jongin decided to kiss his forehead and embraced the smaller boy. He wrapped his hands around the smaller boy to protect him from the cold.

_All I wish is to say I love you to you. Not trough the tracing of them against your skin._ Kyungsoo traced on his back and burrowed his head into the crook of Jongin’s neck. He inhaled his scent—of damp earth and grass and rain and happiness.

‘I don’t need you to do that, Hyung…’ Jongin whispered against his temple.

‘You said it with your heart. I could hear and feel it.’

Kyungsoo wanted to break down and cry at that moment. His hands were shaking as he tried to cup Jongin’s face. _I love you, Jongin-ah._

‘I love you too, Hyung.’

Everything.

Kim Jongin had changed everything in Kyungsoo’s little world. He didn’t mind a bit. He loved it. He loved his presence here. He loved the way they were. He loved how they communicated with each other. Although, sometimes he felt tired and wanted to give up, Jongin was always there to comfort him, said he was sorry for being sightless. But Kyungsoo honestly felt sorry of himself too because he was voiceless.

Despite all the weaknesses they had, they still loved each other like they didn’t have any of it.

***

‘I love the way you fit in my arms. Just like a piece of puzzle. We complete each other. I wonder why? Tell me the answer, Hyung?’

_We’re meant to be, Jongin-ah._

Jongin smiled and kissed the top of Kyungsoo’s head. The older boy snuggled deeper into his embrace and buried his face against Jongin’s chest.

‘Hyung, are you sure you want to be with me?’ he asked as he run his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair.

He felt Kyungsoo stopped moving. _Shut up. It’s still early in the morning. Can’t we just go back to sleep?_ He smiled against the taller boy’s chest. He still smelled like damp grass and rain. He loved it. He loved his boyfriend’s everything.

Jongin chuckled loudly and bent down to place a kiss on Kyungsoo’s cheek.

‘Okay, let us go back to sleep!’


End file.
